(Continued from yesterday...)
(New prototypes for fabric flowers...)
I spent Sunday in bed, taking medication that helps ease the anxiety and allows my mind to rest as well.
This episode felt, to me, like I imagine the ‘fight or flight’ response feels (‘fight or flight’ is the response our body produces when it feels threatened). It’s like my subconscious mind sensed some threat that was not apparent to my conscious mind. I’d had anxiety attacks before but it had usually been under some specific duress. I never, ever saw this one coming.
In general, anxiety attacks feel, if you can imagine, like you’re a car in neutral gear with the gas pedal pressed to the floor. It’s like you have this adrenaline rush and yet no energy to expend it. The best thing for me to do is limit input – sound, especially – and try to let my mind and body relax so the adrenaline disperses. Although I may look fairly normal on the outside, my inside is crawling.
I debated about whether to write these blog entries. This is my business blog so I leaned toward skipping any details. On the other hand, I’d like to be transparent as a small business owner, to be real about stresses and setbacks.
There was no Antique Market for Industrial Country last Sunday. That’s not to say there isn’t an Antique or Flea Market in the future – just not the immediate future. Industrial Country has already faced a challenge, a completely unexpected one, but this challenge is a fork in the road rather than the end of it.
(Completed Rosettes, front and back)
So I’ll take the business in a new direction, to the Etsy marketplace first with who knows what next: a storefront...sales assistants...a co-op space? I have no idea, as usual, but with my creative (and sometimes anxious) mind, I’m sure I’ll be able to figure it out.
I hope you’ll stay with me. The ride may be bumpy at times but, hopefully, never boring.